


Sponge Bog

by pulangaraw



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, total and utter crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pulangaraw/pseuds/pulangaraw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a bog. A bog made of sponges.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sponge Bog

**Author's Note:**

> This was born out of a typo in a Twitter conversation I had with Torra. I would like to blame her for this because she encouraged it.

It was a bog. A bog made of sponges. A Sponge Bog. Stiles’ mind boggled. Hah!

“Yeah,” Derek said to his left, voice low and strangely gravelly. “The legends say if the Sponge Bog has made it out of the sea we’re in real trouble.”

“What?”

To his right, Scott pulled a face.

“Stiles! Stiles! Stiles!" Lydia shouted behind him, completely un-Lydia-like.

Stiles tried to turn, but his sneakers had sunk in among the yellow sponges and he was kinda stuck.

“Uh, Scott?” Stiles asked.

"Yeah, buddy?"

“I’m stuck.”

“Yeah,” Scott sounded weird, kinda like he had when they’d gotten high a couple years ago on Dicky Millar’s mushrooms. He also sounded a little like Crusty the Crab.

To his left, Derek started singing Solitary Man.

“Uhm, guys? Anyone care to help me out, please?” Stiles could feel his legs slowly sinking further into the bog. He did not want to find out what would happen if he sunk completely. He would most likely die. He knew how swamp-encounter stories usually ended. With not much air and certain death, in case anyone was wondering.

"We should get you a pineapple,” Scott said suddenly.

“Ah pineapple? I don’t think a pineapple would help here,” Stiles said, his voice rising with his panic. He was now knee-deep in sponges. On his left, Derek was looming tall.

"Derek could guard it!" Scott continued.

"....Okay, Buddy.” Maybe if he played along this would all work out.

In the distance, Stiles could make out a person walking slowly towards them. It was hard to see, what with the salty smelling fog from the Sponge Bog he was currently sinking into, but whoever it was seemed to have no problem walking over the sponges. Maybe they would know how to get Stiles out of here.

Stiles looked over at where Derek was still singing. He’d switched to Whiter Shade of Pale, but the lyrics were all garbled.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it,” Scott said. He was holding a giant lobster with both hands, trying to stop it’s claws from cutting his face off. Stiles really wished he knew what the hell was going on.

Stiles’ hips were slowly vanishing between squishy wet sponges and he was getting more and more panicky with each second.

“Should have brought a pineapple,” a voice said and when Stiles whipped around it was Dr Deaton, standing in front of him and wearing a giant hat in the shape of a starfish. He was cradling a pineapple as if it was a baby.

“Told you,” Scott said.

“Do you maybe have a pineapple to spare?” Stiles asked shakily.

“I’m sorry, but this one’s for my girlfriend.” With that, Deaton walked past Stiles and when he twisted around he could just about see Deaton placing the pineapple into Lydia’s outstretched arms. She patted it’s thorny leaves affectionately.

“She’s not your girlfriend,” Stiles tried to argue, but when he opened his mouth, a wave of warm, briny water washed into it.

Stiles choked and gasped and fought and...

… woke up tangled in his bed sheets and drenched in sweat.

Stiles swore and wiped a hand over his face.

“I am never watching Sponge Bob before bed ever again.”


End file.
